I had a scare earlier this evening and I didn’t know what to do or where to even begin. I’m always trying to be one step head of my fears, insecurities and anything else that could cause my child any harm. I went to my son’s game tonight for the first time, since I’ve been gone in the month of September and half of October I missed most of his games so I felt I owe it to him to show support. I’ve never been to a ball game especially school related so I wasn’t sure how it goes, there’s no instruction book, my husband acts like I’m stupid by not knowing and it hurts, my son doesn’t disclose anything to me. Any way I went to the game saw my son play and wanted to take him out to eat, but I found out I’m not allowed to take him home he has to ride the bus back with his team, get changed and then come home. He stated to me he wanted to walk with his friend, I had assumed it was his friend which I won’t name through privacy, but a boy I knew along with his parents, plus my child didn’t disclose to me that he didn’t have his phone with him. I decided to grab something to eat on the way just in case my child was hungry. My son didn’t come home until an hour later, it was getting dark, my son wasn’t answering his phone and when I called the boy’s mother she stated to me that she saw my son an hour ago leaving the school building with another boy, a boy I don’t know what he looks like, who he is or where he even lives, but what disappointed me was that the mother said, “Don’t worry he’s from his school.” I’m sorry, but as a survivor of abduction everybody is under scrutiny, especially when statistics have shown that most people get kidnapped, raped, abused or even trafficked by someone we know or begin to develop a trust or a rapport. What made me panic was the fact that I couldn’t get a hold of my child. I drove all over the place, we only live less then 2 miles from the school and I knew he couldn’t be far, I even went into the snow cone place and the lady said she did see him earlier that evening. All I could think of was the worst case scenario, if I’m over-reacting so be it, I’d rather be safe then sorry. During the weekend, my son asked me if a kid could come over to play, I felt since I was home it was ok, but I did tell the child I needed to meet his mother, I only let him stay for an hour and offered to drive him home so I could meet his mom, he suggested that I drop him off on some corner street, this brought some red flags. I remember when I was a child and was living in an abusive home, I never wanted anyone to know where I lived or even knew about my parents/foster parents that were abusing me, so I’d have them drop me off somewhere.
As a mother, I felt some red flags, whether the child maybe in an abusive home or he maybe the problem isn’t the case, what worried me is that my son can attract the kids that are vulunerable in our society. I know I can’t control him and I let him hang out with friends as long as I knew the parents, where they lived and we had similar family values. I’ve embedded these rules for him and I’m finding out that they are slipping the more I am traveling and not being in his life, so this is my reason to start focusing on his life. I can’t be away from him anymore and I need to be the role model that he needs. My husband does not understand that when you leave your wife and son for deployment she does become the “single” mom, having to do everything on my own. My father is a cancer survivor and he doesn’t speak English very well I can’t count on him to be the moral support and male role model for my son so it’s up to me. After my trip in Atlanta, GA; I’ve decided not to take on anymore project until after the holidays and then we’ll take it from there. This isn’t the first time my son has went off on his own without telling me, this has been the third and I’m wondering what am I doing wrong? I wanted to share this with other moms who may feel the same way or have gone through it before and have wondered, am I over-reacting because their friends say it’s not a big deal, trust me ladies it is a big deal. I never imagined that I would be abducted, in fact my abduction with my trafficker wasn’t my first, but I never told anyone and further more I don’t remember anything but vague memories that come in and out. Thank you for reading and I hope this helps.