Lost Values

In the past few weeks, I’ve noticed people posting and bashing each other’s view about religion, politics, celebrity’s life and how our economy is falling.  Let me tell you this:  We don’t live in a third world country, where there is NO Democracy, no Women’s Rights and no Community resources to fall back on.  We live in a life of luxury, even people in poverty have welfare to fall back on, government housing to live in, they have a car, cell phone and they are still able to support their smoking and drinking habits with welfare funding???  Imagine, being in a foreign world where all you see  these other people in their country, living in a one room hut with dirt on the floor, it’s not being supported by Government Housing, the people in the village come together to bring support.  Yet these people are not distracted by the media or technology, they sing, they dance and they just hope for today.  In this country, we put away our parents in a Nursing home, we kill our babies because we don’t want to be parents and it’s called “Our Rights”; we have ongoing access to technology, TV, the internet, news, drama and we tell ourselves life is so hard that we need a “drink” whether it’s choking down alcohol or Starbucks, but yet we can afford it.  We demand so much and yet we don’t stop to realize that we don’t NEED these luxuries.

If you have a home, whether it’s Government housing, house, trailer or apartment; it’s a home be appreciative for it.  After my escape from trafficking, I slept in gas station bathrooms, I cried in the middle of the night when someone would bang on the door.  Without my identification, I couldn’t get welfare, I couldn’t get free meals at a local shelter and I couldn’t get resources, but the one thing that made me realize was that I was blessed beyond measures.  I was no longer being beaten, I was no longer trapped in chains of bondage, even though I was homeless, I could come and go whenever I pleased.  I humbled myself and hung out with other homeless people that each told their unique story and it changed my perception forever.

I’m not a religious person, but I do believe that God sustained my sanity long enough for me to stop and truly appreciate the things around me.  When I was hungry, there was a small restaurant that would feed me without asking me for my identification or assuming whether I was an illegal immigrant.  The restaurant manager would hold a plate for me out in the back so that I could eat.  To me that was a blessing.  A nurse let me sleep in one of the hospital beds, so I wouldn’t have to sleep outside in the cold, that was a blessing and I had families with true Christian values that invited me into their home to show me what values that God wanted them to share with me, that was a blessing.

Our country isn’t perfect by any means and yes there will be corruption and injustice, but give me a country that doesn’t have either?  Before we can go and help others we must fix the problems we have here first, otherwise this country will be falling under.

We need to stop and learn to appreciate what our country has given us, before it becomes instinct.  We’ve lost family values, we’ve lost our minds with lack of morals.  We are a country that is thriving on a multi-billion dollar industry of sex and labor slavery and we are just cashing in everyday.  So, continue to rant and rave about what little rights we currently have, then you wonder why I am depressed.

Thank you for letting me rant!

Abortion vs Adoption

This has been a very sensitive subject by both conservatives and liberals, I want to share my personal view and you can take it or leave it, it’s up to you.  What I’m sharing is from personal experience and I’m not asking you to agree with me, but at least you will know where I stand on this subject. I am a mother of two beautiful children, one I had placed for adoption.  My daughter, who I placed for adoption was a result of rape at that time.  When I first found out I was pregnant, I did think about abortion, I’m not going to lie, but I had no money and was not aware if there were resources for me.  After carrying the infant in me for 9 months, I didn’t think about the rape anymore, I started to concentrate on the baby’s welfare and fell in love with the infant, even though I knew the reality for me to keep the baby was not an option for me.

During my adoption process we talked very little about grief and there was no aftercare or grievance classes for birth mothers dealing with their losses.  I’ve witnessed birth mothers who weren’t strong enough or ready to place; relapse into a life of chaos, drugs and sex.  I don’t believe adoption is for every woman, it takes a very special woman to give her child to someone else and if your child happens to be born with a syndrome, there is no guarantee that an adoptive family will take them, the babies will be sent to a State home for disabled infants, what kind of life would that be?

Since, my adoption I relapsed back into drugs and prostitution.  Trying desperately to fill the void of a lost child that was inside of me.  Without the proper resources and support for birth mothers and those dealing with rape, I went into a downward spiral.  It took me years to handle my depression.  There’s not a moment that goes by that I don’t think about her.  Every year I do celebrate her birthday, me and my son we bake a cake for her and light the candles of the year that she will be turning.  I think about what she will ask me, why I placed her and how was she conceived and at this moment the only thing I can think of is to tell her the truth.

I don’t regret my adoption experience, it made me who I am today, but there were things that the adoption agency did that I did not agree with or needed improvement.  I felt like a baby machine, if I became pregnant again the adoption agency I was with, automatically told me to place my son for adoption without realizing how this baby was conceived, to me that wasn’t right.  It sounds like a marketing tool and remember adoption agency is a business whether founded through a non-profit or not, it’s still a business making adoptive parents happy, but what about the birth mothers?  What happens when she places her baby, where will she go?  If a birth mother happens to be a rape victim, will she be suggested to stay silent so the to be parents won’t know that the child was conceived out of rape?  These are issues that aren’t being talked about from a survivor’s point of view.

I had a friend three years ago that was very promiscuous and found out she was pregnant, she immediately wanted to abort and her reason was: “I’m not getting fat for this baby.”  I was very disheartened to hear her say that, knowing what I went through was not an easy task.  As a good friend I went to an abortion clinic with her to support her endeavors and it made me very uncomfortable, after her procedure was done, she looked in the trash can and said, “I’m done” with a smile.  I went home and took a shower, I felt filthy being around her and I cried.  I saw that lifeless body in the trash and I vomited.  Apart of me wanted to slap the sense out of her, she laid and played and she should’ve thought about pregnancy before she slept around.

I personally do not believe abortion should be used as a birth control method, I do believe that if a woman or the infant’s life is at risk that should be an option as well as sexual assault/rape of any sort, but to go to the abortion clinic every time you get knocked up?  Whatever happened to self control or taking responsibility?  I will respect a woman who places her child for adoption because she’s not ready to be a parent, then a woman who goes to an abortion clinic on a regular basis because she doesn’t want a kid.  When I was pregnant the first time, I heard her heart beat, I cried.  I couldn’t believe I was carrying a life and it was up to me to decide what was best for her.

My reason to share this was, I was given a link about a Congressman who wanted to redefine “rape” in order to pass an anti abortion bill and there were things I agreed and disagreed.  Like I said, there needs to be some accountability toward adults having sex, stop and realize that sex also comes with responsibility and consequences if you are not careful.  I have friends on both conservative views as well as liberal views and I agree and disagree with both, so I decided to voice my opinion here.  Thank you for letting me share.